reading this today. 'Placebo' 'Here i am...lying next to my lover, in intensive care. slipping in and out of consciousness in shifts. Life slowly dripping out of us. Only a fifty percent chance of surviving our injuries... a twenty five percent chance we will ever speak again. We have been in a terrible car crash... and were brought to the same hospital where he works as a surgeon. He has been sleeping all of the tine that I have been awake... as he had been working the night shift. I try to leave messages for him through the nurses... but they keep changing faces. Too many drips to be changed and bloods to be drawn... and while I have been lying here perfectly still, unable to move ... staring at the ceiling counting squares... I have come to realize that I do not even know the person... who I so badly want to survive. As a mistress you fabricate the other persons life entirely in your imagination. His descriptions have always been substitutes ... ...